5 Steps to Help You Survive an Affair and Saving Your Marriage
Affairs are so often the death knell for many a marriage and relationship, but you know what? It doesn’t have to be this way. The bit of good news here for all couples currently in this situation, surviving an affair or working on saving your marriage, is that you have a much better than average chance of success, and rebuilding your damaged relationship into something better, more enduring and more satisfying for you both.
If you are one of these people struggling to stop your divorce or desperately working on saving your marriage, there is an above average hope of success if you follow some simple guidelines. This is the most critical piece of advice on relationships that I feel I can offer anyobody. Here are 5 simple steps that can help you both to get through this situation.
1/ Dont make the automatic assumption that your current situation is a BAD THING. Why on earth not I hear you saying to yourself. This is the reason, and its name is feedback. If something goes badly wrong in your life, you are actually being given a clear message that things need to change and an opportunity to put things right, and this is actually a very positive thing!
2/ Dont focus on blaming your partner for what has happened. Yes one or both members of the relationship have betrayed the others trust, however by only focusing on blame and recrimination you will never move forward.
3/ Another crucial thing is not to take the blame for your partners actions. They took the action not you.
4/ The main reason why anyone embarks on an extramarital affair is to have needs met that they are not getting met in their marriage or relationship. These relationship needs can be sexual mental spiritual or emotional. By talking honestly and openly about these needs without anger or blame both people can gain a new and powerful awareness of each other’s relationship needs .
5/ It is vital that you take responsibility for your own actions and feelings, rather than trying to shift the blame to the other person. “I had an affair because I felt unloved and undesired physically” is taking responsibility for yourself. Using the "I" word it is possible to talk about your relationship situation without either party feeling blamed or criticised, and feeling they have to respond in a defensive manner.
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