Are They Right For You?
Sex toys can be tricky things because it can be difficult to know when – and exactly how – to bring them into a relationship….especially into a long-standing one….
To some couples the mere thought of introducing sex toys into a relationship is rather daunting because it could lead to feelings of inadequacy on one or the other partner's side. Unfortunately, this is due to society’s misconceptions as well as due to much cultural and religious ‘imprinting’ – when really, there is absolutely nothing wrong with introducing a bit of spice into any relationship. In fact, it can even be an enlightening and satisfying experience, furthering both the trust and understanding between partners.
Here is a little advice on when, how, and even where you can broach the subject of sex toys with your partner.
Choosing the right time to talk about introducing sex toys into your sex-life in important. Depending on your relationship’s dynamics, your personality, your level of shyness and many other factors – one of many different timings and settings will work best for you.
If you are shy, then maybe it is best if you broach the topic in bed, late at night – in the dark – when no eye contact is required and you are both relaxed. Alternatively, you may choose to be casual about it and perhaps mention an article you have read (such as this one), a website you stumbled upon, or a conversation you had with friends and ask your partner how s/he would feel about trying a new toy. Some people however simply wait for a spouse’s birthday, Valentine’s Day or Christmastime and merely gift wrap a sex-toy and hope for the best!
In most relationships however, communication is vital when thinking of buying a new toy for the first time because a huge amount of trust and often reassurance is involved, especially if one partner is apprehensive. Therefore, listen to what your partner's feedback – if there is something you wish to try that your partner is uneasy about – start slowly, build up to it, make sure you are both totally at ease with the idea and keep positive.
Maybe, a part of your partner’s apprehension is not so much in using the toy – but in what is involved when actually ‘buying’ the toy – many people conjure images of seedy sex shops in back alleyways in their city’s dodgiest neighbourhood! With that in mind, it's not really surprising that the thought of 'sex-toy shopping' fills them with dread! But – that is where the anonymity that the Internet gives us all comes in really handy!
So begin your search on the World Wide Web and browse the many sex toy superstores available. You will find many, bright, user-friendly stores that offer a myriad toys – all neatly categorised – and with many gadget and devices, that perhaps you were never even aware of.
If you would like a vibrator that doubles as a massager for tired muscles look no further than the Hitachi Magic Wand – widely used by physiotherapists the world over. It's 'side effect' is that it's great at inducing orgasms – visit LoveTheMagicWand.com where you'll find articles, tips and reviews as well as links to the many stores that stock these world best-selling vibrators.
An excellent ‘beginner’ toy, that has received rave reviews and has a celebrity following is the Rabbit Vibrator. Ever since Miranda bought a ‘rabbit’ for Charlotte in a Season 1 episode of Sex and the City, sales of the rabbit vibrator have sharply increased and it is arguably the best-selling vibrator worldwide. This is hardly surprising given that – what sets the rabbits apart – is the fact that ‘rabbits’ are specifically designed to provide sensational and simultaneous clitoral, g-spot and vaginal stimulation – and have therefore left the more traditional dildos, slim line vibrators or clitoral stimulators in the shade.
Various vibrator rabbit models are available -check out LovetheRabbit.com for example. Once you have chosen and purchased a toy you like – and have had the thrill of unwrapping your new treasure, you need to set the mood.
Soft lighting and music are the perfect platform to start any sexy evening and when the time is right to introduce your new toy, take it slow and relax into the sensations it gives you and/or your partner.
In addition, make sure that if you need lubrication you have it on hand; many of us know from personal experience that there is nothing worse than having to break the ‘magic’ to fumble for something! If you are comfortable with the feelings & sensations that your new toy is giving you – relax and enjoy the thrill – however, don’t be surprised if the first time you use one, things are a bit awkward; for example, you may find the settings either too weak or too strong – but don’t worry – with practice you will find the angle and speed that are just right for you.
Finally, always discuss any issues that have arisen – both positive and negative – with your partner and plan how to resolve them or maximise them. Once you have introduced one toy into your bedroom – there will be nothing to stop you from trying another…and another! Good luck!
