Assertiveness: The Way to Solve Relationship Problems?
Is your husband preventing you from seeing the people that you care? On your first few weeks of marriage, you would most likely think that your husband’s jealousy problems are natural and you keep pursuing your relationship thinking that both of you will learn to love and accept your current situation. Fairy tales come to an end so expect the worse in a relationship.
When you are being controlled by your partner, your self-esteem is lowered and relationship problems are being highlighted.Your first reaction is that you react on his insults and assaults.However, your partner turns into a monster and the relationship problems gets worse.
In most cases, you become afraid to tell your friends and family about your situation. Pushing away the important people in your life is the least thing you should do…always keep them by your side. When you push them too far you will realize you will be alone in dealing with your problems. Now you will be living a miserable life with a person who has become different.
It is typical to have this kind of situation in a married couple.There would really be some adjustments in a relationshp. Women are trapped in the house and limit them to child-bearing and doing chores which is really a sad thing to think about. Most women usually think that is their main duty to please their man and forget their own happiness. Problems arise when women find out that there is nothing they could do to please their man.
Hence, the best and most logical solution for your relationship problems is not to please him always, rather to assert yourself in your relationship.Your partner can take advantage of your affection for him. If you allow your husband to become more powerful than you then this could be a problem.If you allow your partner to have power over you… this is going to be a big problem.Your relationship problems would not end unless you have courage to say what you want.Your partner cannot be changed to someone you want him to be…you will just expose yourself to more emotonal abuse.
Standing up for your rights and knowing exactly what you want makes you an assertive person. Some people are not assertive. A person who is assertive attitude recognizes that he has a right to express his opinions, preferences, feelings and emotions. They know how lto face thier problems and focuses on solving it.
You must learn how to improve your assertive listening skills. Understand what the other is trying to say and learn how to listen. Make sure that you understood what you heard. Understanding means that you understand what the other is saying but it does not mean that you agree. If you both agree on something then that is different from understanding .It becomes easier if you tell your partner what you want to hear and accept.
Assertiveness comes out if you try to separate your emotions to the reality. Never allow your partner to take advantage of your love for him. You have to be brave to fight for your rights and be your own boss. If you are loved by your partner truthfully and dearly, he will always accept who you are.
Neil Warner
Positive Conflicts
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