Brave New Woman: Marriage Proposals
Traditionally, the guy is the one who gets down on one knee, but marriage proposals are being made by woman at an increasing rate. While a woman may want her partner to "pop the question", some men simply need to be chivvied along or she will be waiting for hell to freeze over unless she takes the initiative.
So, when a woman decides the time to take the relationship is to the next level and that means, exchanging wedding vows, she may find herself in the position of proposing. As it is uncommon for women to propose, though not unheard of, there isn't much in the way of tips and advice for making the proposal but, if you want to make an impact and demonstrate some creativity and imagination, let's take a look at what you can and the issues surrounding a marriage proposal.
The first thing to understand is that guys are not girls – they respond and react differently; tears are not uncommon for a woman when she receives a wedding proposal but, don't be upset if your man doesn't react with any outwardly visible emotion. It's a common characteristic for men to provide a calm appearance at times of stress or emotional disturbance, so don't beat yourself up over whether he's really the one because he doesn't suddenly spin cartwheels, whoops for joy and wants a Kleenex.
The second issue really deals with your own feelings – are you sure this man is the "one"; is he really ready for commitment (after all he hasn't proposed to you!); are you seriously ready for commitment beyond having a key to his apartment or vice versa?
Overall, just be yourself and avoid complicating the matter.
The Classic Proposal
The classic proposal is opening with a preamble statement about how long you have known each other, how you feel and your desire to remain together forever. Typically, this is followed by offering a diamond engagement ring and it is usual for the man to get down on one knee – sometimes in a very public place such as a restaurant, family gathering or similar.
Choose a place which you are both comfortable with and both like – the proposal itself is a memory which will endure because it is so emotionally charged.
The "Special" Event
Birthdays, Christmas, New Year or even Valentine's Day are all popular times when proposals are made – even on the anniversary of when you first met. Giving a birthday or Christmas present which is an engagement ring is one way of putting the proposal but, the question is do you buy a ring for him or for yourself? Unless he's into jewelry, you're buying the ring for yourself or even better, try a ring-pull from a Coke can and make light of the fact that he can now take you shopping for an engagement ring without having to worry about whether you'd accept it.
The golden rule is to be yourself – remember he's going to get to know the "real" you very intimately so there is no mileage in being someone you are not. Be as relaxed as you can (very difficult under the circumstances) and don't worry – if he loves you as you love him, he will be stunned and happy and quite probably it will be the only time you find him speechless.
