Breakups are Misery – Here are 3 Pointers for Overcoming Them
George Patton said that next to war, all other forms of human endeavor pale to insignificance. General Patton probably forgot, in the heat of military battle, the consuming pain and heartache of learning that a lady friend was leaving him. Men being men, this is often the first time that they actually love her – the moment they realize that she'd going to walk out. Despite that realization, this is often a time when men appear to go out of their way to find stupid things to do, further alienating their sweetheart.
The purpose of this article is to enumerate a few points that might be of assistance to a man who's in the process of breaking up at different points in the process.
1. It's human to mourn when we're confronted with tragedy
Men might feel the urge to cry but they've been taught from birth that men don't cry, men don't display their emotions. Crying in front of a woman is seriously discouraged, especially by men. We know better than that, of course. We know that crying provides a normal, healthy release of pent-up emotions, and that it's a relief available both to women and to men.
Feeling guilty over the loss of a relationship makes as much sense as feeling guilty for mourning the death of a famous entertainer whom you never met. There's no shame in crying in front of your soon-to-be ex-girlfriend – as noted, it's a natural response to tragedy and there's no harm in letting her see how much she means to you.
2. Focus on tomorrow's potential, not yesterday's pain
If you're still grieving over your old relationship and hoping to be able to get back together with your ex, you're going to short-change any women you try to get involved with. Relationships can be saved, of course, and you've got a better chance if you start before they're actually broken up. Has she made specific complaints, identified certain behavior? If she's right, or if you're prepared to try to change them to appease her, by all means go ahead. Your physical appearance might also need a boost – look at yourself critically in the mirror, and if necessary, go get a haircut and a professional shave. Get some new clothing. And tell her how important she is to you, how much you need her and how much you cherish her.
You must steel yourself to the possibility that she will not yield, and the relationship will die. If that happens, then acknowledge that some things just aren't meant to be, and it's time for you to move on. While it's true that you cannot start up with another woman until you've put this relationship behind you for good, don't forget that these things take time. There's an old proverb "There are plenty good fish in the sea." Walk around the streets of any good-sized town or city, or a suburban shopping center – there are gorgeous women as far as the eye can see! Your next love may live across town – or next door. She may be a perfect stranger – or an old friend. One thing's for sure, though – if you're not over your old relationship, she'll be able to tell just as surely as if you were wearing a sign around your neck saying "still involved with someone else!"
3. Forgiveness is part of the healing process
One of the most powerful actions you can take in this life is to forgive someone who's injured you. Like a genuine apology, forgiveness has the power to heal your own heart. If you don't get rid of these negative emotions – most easily by forgiving your ex – they're going to grow and fester and become a part of everything you do.
There's no point in staying angry with her – and many good reasons to cut loose from her. Unless you want to be constantly thinking of her and letting a festering wound grow in your heart, just forgive her.
If you found the information in this article helpful and you'd like to learn about other ways to handle a breakup, then check out Surviving a Breakup, How to Get Over a Broken Heart, and Ex Recovery System Review.
