Can You Save A Marriage With Counseling?
Does going to therapy or couples counseling really help solve all the issues that are tearing apart a relationship? This is the question most people are pondering as they grow desperate to save a marriage they really are not ready to let go of. The big question is whether talk sessions with someone else can really work for two people in crisis.
If you fall into this category seeking help with marital issues, it all hinges on how you go into your therapy sessions. You have to realize right from the start that there is no guarantee that someone else can fix your marriage. Ultimately, the real work has to be done by you and your spouse.
Before even walking in the door to your first session, have a clear understanding that the therapist is going to give an objective point of view, not validation to your own thoughts and feelings. If you go in there expecting this person to see that you are right and "fix" your spouse, then you will get nothing out of it but frustration and disappointment.
This is not what a therapist is there to do. They are not going to take sides, mainly because there is no one person who is right in a marriage. Problems are a collective mess and both people have some things they are doing wrong and some things they are doing completely right.
Marital problems are always deeper than someone not taking out the trash or constantly being late for dates. What the therapist wants to do is get beneath all the squabbling and figure out what is really driving all the unhappiness and ultimately wrecking your relationship.
If you don't fix the deeper issues the marriage will only continue to unravel.
In order to get to the bigger problems you have to go into counseling without the idea that someone is right and the other wrong. You have to be willing to just listen to your spouse without assuming what their words mean for you personally.
For example, instead of getting defensive that she says she feels lonely and screaming that you have to work so it's not your fault; just listen. Don't translate it to mean anything about you. She is lonely. That is all.
In order to save a marriage with the help of therapy, this husband would have to be willing to quietly listen to his wife talk about the loneliness without automatically assuming it is directed as an assault on him. He has to listen selflessly for it to work.
Click on this link for more information about this topic: Save Marriage or Signs Of A Cheating Wife or Learn How To Save A Marriage
