Can Your Relationship Survive An Affair?
Many of us have considered whether we would absolutely leave our love relationship in light of an affair. Cut and dry consequences can make the rules and consequences within a relationship very easy. At other times they can actually make things very complicated. An affair is not only destructive to the relationship, but it can be destructive to the partner that has remained faithful. Going through all of the potential solutions can be maddening. Don't rush, but know that you have choices that are your own.
You know who she is. She's the one with the office fashion jewelry that looks as stunning as she does. She is the one that flirts with everyone, regardless of their gender or age, and has the reputation that she got her position through these heavy flirtations, and possibly more. Your partner has become enchanted by her, and you're stuck at home trying to figure it all out.
Any affair can be humiliating and demoralizing for the faithful partner. Depression usually enters the picture, sometimes to the point where personal care no longer matters. Hair cuts, dressing well, make up, dry skin care, and facial care can all fall to the wayside. What difference does it make if your partner comes home to a shaggy, dry skinned, wrinkled partner who hasn't gotten out of her pajamas in three days?
The kids are missing out. They used to have two parents, and now it seems that they only have one. You notice that the double electric breast pump you bought to share the joys of 2 am feedings sits on the shelf. There's no need to touch it. You're distressed and the kids are distressed. It might seem reasonable to give your partner another chance based on what you think the kids might need.
Fear is a pretty big obstacle when making a real decision about what to do. Leaving might be a reasonable option. Trying to regain your partner's attention might be a reasonable option. You vacillate back and forth trying to come up with the best approach only to find that you are just frustrated, hurt, and scared. It's unsettling to have no idea where your future might end up.
Some couples have simple rules. If you cheat it's over. Other couples have less defined rules that leave some wiggle room in how you react to such a mess. The one thing you might be battling is fear. It can be frightening to feel as though someone else has taken away your sense of security. You're willing to be all in, and then your partner and the affair threaten to destroy your sense of belonging in your own home. Yet being afraid to strike out on your own can be literally paralyzing.
Making your own decision is the ultimate power. Making sure that you are deciding exactly what is best for you and your kids is your way of making sure that you end up with the control of your emotions as well as control over your future.
