Dont Seek Advice From Friends And Family, If You Want To Save Your Marriage
Does it seem like your marriage is falling apart in front of your eyes?
You can save your marriage even if
- your spouse says "I'm in love with someone else"
- your spouse says "There's someone else"
- your spouse says "I want a divorce"
- your spouse doesnt want to
Saving The Marriage Is A 4 Step Process
You must
- gain control over your own emotions, which will be running wild
- decide if you really want to save the marriage
- take professional advice from a professional marriage counsellor, who has successfully helped others solve similar marriage problems
- act on the advice of the professional
Your Mind Will Be Running Wild
To hear your spouse say "I want a divorce" will have a devastating affect on you. It may feel as if all of your hopes and dreams for the future have been annihilated.
Your emotions will run out of control and will include devastation, worry, fear, embarrassment, loneliness, hopelessness and anger.
Your thoughts will run wild with thoughts like
- "How could he/she do this to me?
- "I'll be alone for the rest of my life"
- "How will this affect the children?"
- "What will happen financially?"
- What will I say to family and friends?"
These reactions are quite normal and expected. However, you must find a way to overcome these thoughts and emotions, as soon as possible, in order to save the marriage.
Decide If You Really Want To Save The Marriage
When your emotions subside, you may decide to end the marriage. This leads to one course of actions.
However, if you decide that you still love your spouse and you believe in your marriage vows of "for better or for worse" and "til death do us part", you must resolve to do everything in your power to save the marriage.
The most important thing for you to do, to save your marriage, is to find a marriage counsellor who has a good record in helping couples solve marriage problems. Then you must follow the advice given. At the same time, you must avoid behavior that will worsen the relationship with your spouse.
Do not, under any circumstances, seek or follow advice from friends and family. This advice will be well intended. However, as they are not professionals at this and do not know what actually works and what doesnt, it can be damaging to what you want to achieve.
Who Has Helped Others To Save Their Marriage?
The divorce rate is rising. Almost 1 out of every 2 marriages ends in divorce. This does not reflect well on the marriage counselling profession, in general.
Research into the success rate achieved by marriage counsellors using traditional techniques, shows that they are successful 20% of the time. How would you feel about placing the future of your marriage in the hands of a marriage counsellor who had a 20% success rate?
The good news is that there are marriage counsellors who achieve a much higher success rate than that. They use different techniques that achieve proven results. That is what you want.
Follow The Advice Of The Professional
Speed is essential. The sooner you get the advice and the sooner you act on that advice, the more likely it is that you will have success.
People in the middle of a marriage crisis, who wait too long before taking the actions that will save the marriage, are much more likely to fail.
What Are Your Chances For Success?
It depends on 2 things:
- how strong is your desire to save your marriage?
- how committed are you to following the professional advice of a counsellor with a proven record of success
With these two things in place, you have what it takes to solve your marriage problems.
You have a good chance of success, even if your spouse doesn't want to save the marriage, at this time.
