First Date Jitters And Jerks
Internet dating veterans love online dating for a number of reasons not the least of which is the sheer number of singles on dating sites. That first face to face though can be a bit nerve wracking. But being the experienced dater that you are, you know how to put a brave face on. So what do you do if your date is not quite so savvy?
The fact that your date is nervous can be both charming and frustrating. It's clear that even though he or she is happy to finally meet you, it's equally clear that he or she is finding the whole thing a bit overwhelming and intimidating. Which isn't surprising because you are, after all, totally awesome. But you want them to be relaxed because all those nerves are going to get in the way of getting to know each other.
The best way to approach this is in a caring and sympathetic manner. Try acknowledging that you sense they're nervousness and admit that you feel the same. Even if you don't, this little white lie can work wonders in putting your date at ease. Follow this up with the suggestion that you put these nervous feelings aside and concentrate on having fun. Suggest that you both lighten up a bit, and then change the conversation to something lighthearted.
With any luck your date will follow your lead and you can get down to the business of dating. But what if your date doesn't follow suit? Well, you can only do so much. You're here to have fun not a therapy session. If your date remains cool, don't be rude about it, but do plan on making it an early night. There's one of two things happening here; he or she is always cool and reserved, or they just need more time to warm up.
So now that that whole nervy business is out of the way, your date is proceeding smoothly. Or so you thought, until about an hour later when you have concluded that your latest internet dating find is really a jerk!
Which is a bit baffling! He has a job working with small animals and his nieces and nephews think he's the greatest uncle in the world. But he's a jerk! Not to you, but to everyone else around like the waitress. His emails were sweet and charming, but his manner to the stranger who bumped into him in line is anything but.
Yeah, you really can't predict these kinds of things. Unfortunately, even if the anger isn't directed at you, you probably want to cut and run from this one. For starters, there's the possibility that at some point, it could be you he's mad at and that's just too risky. At the least, he's definitely got some deeper issues that you don't want to take on in the beginning.
As harsh as this may sound, dating someone like this is kind of like buying an already sick kitten. Though it's true that all kittens may have problems at some point in the future, that shouldn't stop you from casting your net and catching the one that appears to be the healthiest.
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