Five Strategies To Help You Get Along With A Difficult Person

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Many people are just a lot easier to work with than others. The ability to manage these interactions may mean the difference between life and death in a survival situation. These approaches can help.

FIRST – UNDERSTAND THE FACT THAT THIS ISN'T A UNIQUE DIFFICULTY.
Whenever a person is persuaded that he's 'chronically unique,' many difficulties arise. This is actually the idea that an individual's history, problems, lacks, needs, requirements and desires are so distinct that no one could ever fully grasp or be trusted to make decisions impacting him. Telling this person he's mistaken will certainly place him on the defensive and result in more time-consuming discord. Guard against this in your own thinking and avoid taking offense whenever you identify this self-deception in other people.

SECOND – DO NOT LOOK TO OTHERS TO SOOTHE YOUR EMOTIONS.
The whining must rapidly stop. When lives hang in the balance, it is important that this harsh advice is followed. Your fellow travelers don’t need to be reminded of your emotional problems at every opportunity. Your determination to prevent yourself from complaining will add to your worth as a team member. The details of your angst and upset would be better kept for diary entries. Convey information and facts as they're needed. Endeavor to be an encourager. By seeking to find positive points of conversation, you will not only manage to turn your thoughts in another path, but you will also help others.

THIRD – ACCEPT ACCOUNTABILITY FOR YOUR PART.
If you repeatedly fault others for conflict, it places the group dynamic in jeopardy. It ISN’T just the other person’s problem. If you find that the other individual avoids your company, discounts your feedback, and ends discussions quickly whenever you join in, you may unknowingly be causing the conflict. Here are a couple of steps that might help smooth the difficulties:

STEP ONE: If it's not nice, do not say it.
Discover ways to redirect a conversation rather than take part in a conversation about the faults of others. Even the suspicion of gossip is sufficient to cause problems between you and another group member. When others' trust in you has been damaged in this way, resentments can easily grow which are displayed in the attitude and actions of others. The breach of trust brought on by your words creates additional bitterness, and the individual turns into just what you thought him to be by his response to your words.

STEP TWO: Build upon abilities and strengths.
Hunt for the opportunity to mention something genuinely positive about your team member. Do this even when he isn't close enough to hear. It enables you to take inventory of abilities and strengths instead of cataloging troublesome qualities. Discipline yourself to focus your thoughts onto the positive so this becomes a good habit. This will help you be less harsh towards this individual without having to put on an act.

FOURTH – DON’T OFFER PLATITUDES EXPECTING A GOOD RESPONSE.
Good group dynamics involve more than just social niceties. A failing team dynamic will not be improved when pleasantries are offered without actual goodwill. Significant fractures aren't soothed simply by good manners ALONE . . . and inferior manners aren't a good enough reason to risk relationships over which you depend for survival.

FIFTH – UNDERSTAND THAT OCCASIONALLY YOU MUST LOSE A BATTLE IN ORDER TO WIN A WAR.
People occasionally grow to be so bitter, hostile or proud that they are unable to sort out their differences. It is at such moments you should remind yourself that the goal is not to be proven right, but to live through this experience. Do not nag or demand that others adapt to your way of thinking. It is true: ‘A man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still’ — AND . . . he’s pretty angry over being manipulated.

When you set a good example of flexibility and a refusal to keep grudges, you encourage others to follow your lead. By setting aside behaviors which cause turmoil, you display a readiness to make necessary changes for the benefit of the whole group. Your willingness to patiently make an effort to get along will help make the best of a bad situation.