Getting Ready For The New Baby
It may happen sooner or it may happen later, but it happens to most couples and even if they have been trying hasten the process, they are rarely ready for the news. 'We're having a baby' comes as a surprise to all of us and is greeted with a mixture of joy and fear.
Throughout the pregnancy, the mother at least has a distinct knowledge of what's happening, because it's happening inside her. The soon-to-be dad, no matter how well informed he is, gets all his information second hand. His biggest concern, at least at first, is how he is going to be able to provide for the new baby.
A feeling of dread sometimes spoils the joy of pregnancy, at least on occasion. The mother doesn't think she's going to be able to cope with nine whole months of being pregnant and the father doesn't think he's going to be up to the demands of fatherhood.
Most of us do what we have to do and start preparing for the new arrival. Even though we won't need it for ages, we go to the baby store and look at baby cribs and other eventual baby necessities. If we've been happily cruising along in our jobs, we realize we need to consider a career.
We start to make sacrifices in anticipation of the arrival. Instead of buying that new bedding collection for our room, we use the money to buy the crib instead. Even before the baby arrives, it becomes more important than we are and we adjust accordingly.
Sure, the husband isn't thrilled about the fact that he's going to have to put off buying the husqvarna chainsaw he's had his eye on. Nonetheless, he does put it off, usually without complaint. He knows he didn't really need it that much anyway.
Babies are not real to fathers until they are born. Before that, they just have happy fantasies about kicking a ball around the backyard with their son or walking hand in hand with their pig-tailed daughter. The fact that babies are helpless little creatures who don't think twice about waking you up at night or peeing on your good pants when they're sitting on your lap is only a distant concept until it actually happens. Fathers aren't the ones who feel the baby growing inside, so thinking of it as an infant doesn't really come naturally to them.
None of that really matters anyway, though. While a pregnant mother doesn't give a moment's thought to feeding the baby while its inside of her, it gets fed anyway. While a father has absolutely no experience at being a father, it happens anyway. Nature seems to have done a good job of preparing us, since billions of couples have done their job as parents pretty well over the years.
