Got A Broken Heart? Try These Strategies
She's gone and suddenly you find yourself wondering just how you're going to manage without her. Lost in your depression and self-pity, you sit alone, staring at the walls or a blank TV screen. You probably can't think of any feeling worse than what you're going through now, but as time goes by, that feeling will dissipate. To make it dissipate faster, acknowledge this one important fact: there's much more to life than a relationship with a woman – even the one who just dumped you. She knocked you down – so what, it happens to all of us sooner or later. She's gone now, so the only thing keeping you down is you. Get up and get cracking!
Of course, there's real pain involved here, and you've got to get it out of your system. Give yourself a reasonable amount of time to feel that pain and suffer the loss. Your relationship really has died, and you're responding appropriately to the loss. But there's also a purpose here – you're setting the stage in your own mind to put her completely in the past and out of your life. After a few days or so, it's time to start fresh. First off, go through your home and get rid of everything – EVERYTHING – that belongs to her or reminds you of her, Photographs, clothing, toothbrushes – everything must be packed away. Once you've packed everything up, don't just put it on the floor in the closet – this is a subtle way your subconscious has of refusing to let her go. If her stuff is there, that means she's coming back sooner or later, right? So ship the box back to her and take the next big step toward mending your broken heart! Like any other job, this thing has an end – so wind it up, get the carton mailed, and get yourself ready to go out and take on the world again!
Think positive. Don't consider yourself to have been ditched, consider yourself to have found yourself with a lot of free time, free time you can devote to pursuing some of the activities that always seemed to get put off when she was around. Get involved in a hobby you've been curious about, read books you've been intending to get to, join a gym and work out. Don't look for a woman to get involved with – use this time for yourself. Turn off the television – it's a great time-killer, but when you need to be getting re-involved with life, becoming a couch potato is counterproductive.
Do some "guy things," things it was hard to with her around. Go fishing. Go hunting! Take in an athletic event or two. Hang out with the guys. Get involved in a sports league – play softball or whatever sports are available. Don't worry about women – they'll come back in your life in time, and you'll start having trouble finding time for yourself. Devote your time now to you. Don't restrict yourself just to sedentary activities – make sure there's a good mix of physical activities as well. This will help you stay (or get) in shape, as well as give you a release for the frustrations that will from time to time build up inside you.
Experiment with new things. Take a few weekend trips – there are probably dozens of interesting places to visit and have a nice weekend outing, all within an hour's drive of your home. Fight the urge to party constantly, though – getting drunk will work to pull you back into the pit of depression and self-pity you're working to avoid. Relationships that people get into while "on the rebound" rarely work – there's just too much emotional baggage involved, and when they break up, you're right back where you started. If you can, get out and take a real vacation – hop on a plane or a cruise ship, or drive at least a few hours, and spend a week or more someplace you've never been before.
There's an old saying: "One nail doesn't drive out another nail." In this context, it means that you can't replace your lost love, and you can't replace the broken relationship and make it somehow work. All you can do is heal, and when the time is right, meet a new woman (not a replacement woman) and start a new relationship (not a replacement relationship). How will you know when it's appropriate to get involved with a woman again? There'll be no feeling of pressure to get into a new relationship, and you won't be thinking in terms of "replacing" your ex-girlfriend. One day you'll meet someone and the possibility of spending time with her will interest you on its own merits, without having anything to do with the old relationship. And if you wait until the right time, your new relationship will be infinitely more fulfilling than the old one.
If you found this helpful with helping you deal with your broken heart, also check out How to Mend a Broken Heart, Guide to Surviving a Breakup, and Is Magic of Making Up a Scam?.
