How To Catch A Cheater
So you have decided to tackle your doubts …to tackle the likelihood of the thing that you have feared and dreaded since you got married…a certainty that you really do not want to confront …but the not-knowing has smashed your peace and joy to the place that you have to know (in spite of how painful it is) so that you can move on from the paralyzing inaction. What should you do to catch a cheater?
His past! Yes you believed it was in the past but fairly accurate forecaster for present deeds is earlier behaviour. Did he cheat on his previous girlfriend with you?
Signs to watch out for! Are you just being suspicious? What tipped you off that all was not well in paradise? In order to catch a cheating spouse you need to first verify that he really is a cheater. This involves moving yourself from intuition to proof. Start paying particular attention to all the details of who he is. Study him in his entirety from his personal, his relationship with you, his behavioral disposition, occupational habits, his relationship with his phone, his online habits. Have there been unexplained shifts in any one of these areas? Is he emotionally distant from you? Does he spot an risqué new haircut that is completely alien to the man that you know? Has he become moody? Does he have unexplained absences when you can’t contact him in the office? If you see a number of these signs then you may have a cheater in your house. But you need to see a number of them as your husband may just be going through a tough time at the office and so has withdrawn emotionally to sort himself out. So now that you have seen all these changes how do you catch a cheater?
Ferret out the proof! Like most crimes there should be confirmation of what has taken place. Put your sensibilities asides and become Sherlock Holmes. Start your search in all the obvious places. These will include his clothes pockets, the closet and the treasure trove called the gabbage bag. If possible search the trash cans in all the places he spends most of his time (home, office and at his desk). You will be looking for anything that should not be there or that he threw out. Search his car and note its mileage every morning and then compare it with where he said he went after that, unexplained milagee point to detours.
How is his phone behavior? Is his attachment to his phone new and unnatural and does he take certain calls in great secrecy out of ear shot? If you can get to his phone after his secretive calls you can hit the redial button and find out who he was talking to. You will of course have to be fairly brash to do this and be prepared for the repercussions should the person you called complain to your boyfriend.
Is he suddenly spending long periods of time on the internet? You can check his search history to find out what he was doing online and there is software that you can buy and install on his computer that will be able to trace his e-mails or monitor his activities online so that you know what (and with whom) he is doing what he is doing.
Money trail! He will spend money on her and so you need to keep vigil over your credit card bills and your account statements to see if there is unexplained spending.
Now that you have the proof you need to decide whether it is enough to support a confrontation or will he be able to wriggle out and explain everything away? If you are unable to get sufficient evidence you may need to hire professionals to get what you need.
