How to Get Over a Broken Heart? – The 5 Stages of Recovery
Few things in a man's life are as painful as the heartbreak after a breakup. This article will help all men to mend a broken heart. How can you go on after a breakup? Every purpose you had in life walked out the door with her! You can't just go out and start seeing women again – it's too soon, you're not ready, and you'll scare off most decent women. Stay calm, read this article and plan to observe the stages and get back to your life. It's difficult to say how long you'll stay in any particular stage of this process, because no two people (or relationships) are the same. The severity of the pain you feel has a lot to do with it, though.
Stage One: Recognizing that it's really over
You've got to admit it to yourself and accept it – she's gone and the relationship is over. The time you spent together is all in the past now. You cannot spend time with her. In some ways, this is even worse than your lover dying, because when she leaves you, a whole part of you is gone, just as if she died, but then you see her walking around, or even worse, with another man. You start thinking again about that last day you were together and she told you that she was breaking it off, and you can't get it out of your head, and your heart breaks again . . . yet you've got to accept that she's out of your life and it's over, and only then can you think about moving on to Stage Two. Nothing good happens in a hurry, and no matter how positive and fulfilling your relationship was, now that it's over, the most good that can happen is that you get over it. And slowly, that's just what happens, as you gradually find yourself able to admit to yourself that she's gone, and the relationship has ended – yet you're still there.
State Two: Go ahead and grieve
You've finally accepted the facts – she's gone for good. You feel an oppressive sense of loss, and you may feel like crying. Go ahead – it's a natural and normal response to tragic loss, and it will help relieve some of the emotional pressure that's built up.
Stage Three: Anger
Don't blame yourself for the breakup – she's the one who walked out, not you. At this stage in the process, as you come to acknowledge the reality that she's gone, and you've actively grieved for the loss of your relationship, it's actually normal to feel anger with her for leaving, even though you might have been feeling that way for quite a while now.
Stage Four: Women!
Your own feelings will tell you if it's time yet to go out and start meeting people, especially women. If you're feeling significantly angry with your ex, though, you're not ready to meet new women – you're too likely to take that anger out on them, and that'd be another tragedy, wouldn't it? You know the old proverb, "There are plenty of good fish in the sea." A walk through any suburban mall at any time of the day will confirm that! And of all the women you may see there, so many are looking for someone they can be close with, someone they can share their lives with.
Stage Five: All good things come to he who waits
That's right, freedom: the moment she walked out on you, you were tied down to the failed relationship and the memory of your life together, and it was critical that you free yourself. Now you're experiencing something new – real freedom. Not only are you free of the ties to the failed relationship, you're also free of the terrible anger you felt for your ex. Instead, you feel as if you can soar through the sky, and if you hear news of her, well, it's interesting, but it doesn't affect you. And you're not feeling conscience-smitten when you talk with another woman, or ask her out. This is the goal you've been working toward all this time – free of the past, free to go out into the world and seize all it has to offer without guilt! Enjoy it!
If you found this article helpful and would like to learn other ways to help you through your breakup, check out How to Get Over Heartbreak, How to Cope with a Breakup, and Ex Squared System.
