How To Make Relationships Work
We are social beings who find fulfilment in relationships, even when those relationships appear strange to others. Having someone to share your life adds pleasure to living! Mull over how you expend your time and wealth. Isn’t most of it spent socializing? And our yearning goes further so we aggressively hunt for that particular person who can have a stake in what we invest (THE relationship) in the journey of life. More and more this relationship is being torn apart by the stresses of life so that instead of your partner being your solace in the hard times they are increasingly becoming the source of the stress. So what do you need to do to make a relationship work?
Choose with both your heart and your mind!
Pick out your partner with care so as to lay the proper foundation to make relationships work. Avoid the error of focusing only on how the person makes you feel. Our feelings are affected by very many things and making such a crucial decision fully on this is a slip up that will bring you much disappointment. Do they believe that debt is an integral part of life? Do they believe in an all powerful God? What are their interests? When they are not at work or school where are they? If all the knowledge that you have about them is that they make you feel good then you need to investigate them otherwise you are headed for troubled times.
Decide that your relationship will last
Make up your mind that you are going to do everything in your power to make this relationship work. To make a relationship work you must resolve that ending the relationship is not an alternative for you. Once you have determined that this relationship is the long term then you tend to regard your relationship problems as obstacles that must be passed through instead of reasons why you should leave. It is of great help if your partner has also made this decision but even if they seem unsure you can resolve this for yourself.
To get your decision to work for you, you must become skilful at conversing and negotiating with your partner so that you both come to an understanding about the things that you passionately disagree about. In making relationships work,the needs you both have must be met in the relationship and for matters that you disagree about you need to be able to meet each other half way and get a settlement that gives you something and your partner something.
Truth rules!
Deal honestly with your partner. To make a relationship work you need to be candid with your partner from the onset. Falsehoods do not improve a relationship. If this is a relationship that you want for the long haul then honesty is essential so that you build your relationship on a sound foundation. When you are tempted to lie, ask yourself this question: do I want my partner to believe that they cannot trust me with minor and thus also with the big issues? Is this the result you yearn for in your relationship?
Know your partner well.
Get to know who your partner really is, what their experiences have been and how they deal with diverse life issues. Do not presume who they are based on your past experiences, make the effort to get to know them! You need to know what your partner thinks about the assorted things that add up to every day living. We often get so carried away by how we feel that we don’t meticulously investigate our partners. Would you consider putting in your savings in a company without a thorough investigation? So why would you hand over your emotional health and outlook to someone you really do not know?
Joyfull relationships have a balance between how great your partner makes you feel, the things that you enjoy doing together and how you both tackle the tasks of daily life.
