How to Survive an Affair and start saving Your Marriage
Affairs are so often the death knell for many a marriage and relationship, but you know what? Things dont have to work out this way. In my practice the majority of couples who come to me in this situation where one or other party [or very rarely both] have had an affair actually succeed in surviving an affair rebuilding their relationship and have gone on with their lives stronger, happier and more connected than they were before.
If you and your spouse are in this situation, desperately working towards saving your marriage or trying to stop your divorce, there is a good hope of success, if you use some simple guidelines. I believe that this can be the single most important piece of advice on relationships I can offer to couples. Here are 5 simple steps that can help you both to get through this situation.
1/ Choose not to look at what has happened as a BAD THING. I cant believe that I hear you say to yourself. The reason is this and its called feedback. Whenever something goes wrong in any area of your life no matter what it is, it is giving you an opportunity to put things right, and that is actually a GOOD THING!
2/ Dont get hung up on the blame game. Whilst it is true that one or both members of the relationship have damaged the others trust, if you only focus on blame and anger, you will never be able to move forward.
3/ Another important thing is not too blame yourself for the your partners affair. It was them that took the action, therefore their responsibility.
4/ The most common reason why any person embarks on an extramarital affair is that their relationship needs are not being met satisfactorily. The needs can be physical, emotional mental or even spiritual. If you can communicate openly and honestly about your needs without blame or anger, you can both gain a new and very valuable understanding of each others needs from the relationship .
5/ It is important that you take responsibility for your own actions and feelings " You made me have an affair because you never wanted me any more" is blaming the other person for what happened and not taking responsibility yourself. "I chose to have an affair because I felt unloved and undesired sexually" is being responsible for your own actions. By using the “I” word couples can talk about their relationship situation without the other person feeling attacked and consequently feeling they have to respond defensively.
If you want to make a powerful start today on saving your marriage or relationship before it becomes too late visit my site http://www.squidoo.com/marriage-relationship-help-advice where I share with you an extremely powerful and SIMPLE 7 STEP RECONCILLIATION PROCCESS which has had fantastic results for my clients.
