Is Your Significant Other Moving Too Fast?
This is not your typical fairy tale. Once upon a time you struck up a conversation with a total stranger on an internet dating site. You went out a few times, think each other is wonderful and then, seemingly without warning, he or she is parking their toothbrush in your bathroom and expressing worry because you didn't call last night.
Say what? This is decidedly not fairy tale material. What is IS is a real life scenario. So what can you do when the person you're seeing is moving too quickly for comfort. How do you slow a relationship down without ending it?
1. Don't delay it, just say it
It would seem that simply coming right out with it and telling the person you are seeing that it's just all moving too fast for comfort is the simplest solution. If you're like most people however, you would sooner end the relationship altogether than confront this issue head on.
It's possible that your new romantic interest isn't trying to go crazy fast; they could just be excited about how amazing you are and have gotten a bit carried away. A quick, non-accusatory conversation about your concerns will either shake them back to reality and they'll start putting the brakes on a bit or it won't and you'll realize that you two really are on different pages.
2. Stop being so available
No matter how they feel about their space being encroached upon, some people just go along with the advanced relationship speed being set by the other person. They're trying to be nice about it because they're really quite into this person.
No matter how they feel about their space being encroached upon, some people just go along with the advanced relationship speed being set by the other person. They're trying to be nice about it because they're really quite into this person.
If you want to slow things to the point where you are comfortable, make a vow to yourself to only be as available as you truly are; if you have to work super early, say you can't hang out the night before.
If your new significant other tries to invite him or herself out on nights with friends, tell him or her that eventually, that will be cool but for right now, you want to let things incubate in private between you two for a while.
When they ask about that shelf in your closet or the key to your front door, and you're not ready for that, try to think of a smaller step that you are okay with. Unless you have the gift of the gab, a flat out no to these relationship yardsticks can be misinterpreted by your sweetie that you have no intention of ever going there. Offering up an alternative will leave you both happy. If not, see step 1.
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