Money; Don't Let It Bankrupt Your Relationship
I've always thought of myself as a pretty independent type of gal. Just because I am independent that doesn't mean I don't like some pampering when I'm down with the flu. He makes killer chicken soup! On the other hand, do I want him paying my rent for me? Definitely not!
That said, I've also found myself in a relationship where we ended up having joint finances before we even sat down to think about it. He had lost his job and it just seemed like the loving and logical thing to help him out until he found something else. Other times couples go through the "you pay for this and I'll pay you back" so often that the balance sheet becomes a bit blurry. And before you know it you're sharing a bank account.
I'm not saying this is always a terrible thing. Some couples are blissfully communally minded and never have to deal with issues of entitlement, mistrust, co-dependence sickness, or any of that. But if you're human like the rest of us, it's typically a really good idea to give your relationship the insurance policy it deserves (I mean, how lame is it to have your love taken down by money. Ick.) and follow these rules for financial harmony:
Take stock of your spending
Cash may be king, but it's all too easy to spend it and then wonder where the heck it all went. You should both make a detailed list of all your regular expenses like rent, heat and hydro, car payments, insurance etc.
You should also include what you think you spend every month on shopping and going out. If there are large ticket items that you want to buy, like a new mountain bike, or season's tickets for baseball, include them too.
Take away the taboo
Money is one of those things that need to be talked about. Avoiding the issue will only increase the stress associated with it. So get over it already; this is simply too important for you to bury your head in the sand.
Frequent conversations about money will put the subject in the realm of a common topic instead of something you dread to bring up. And common topics of conversation are rarely filled with worry and pressure.
Look at each other's lists
Now that you've decided you want to share your financial obligations you need to sit down and compare your lists. Figure out which expenses are shared (things like the rent, household bills) and which are not (clothing, among other things). It's not as easy as it sounds and some of the expenses will need discussing. You might consider your wine club membership to be a necessity, but will your partner?
Make a fresh start
Start from scratch by opening a joint checking account. Use it to pay the household bills and other expenses that you agreed would be joint ones. Have your own bank account for personal purchases like presents for your partner, donations to charities that your partner doesn't give a fig about, or, heaven forbid, hitting the road if things don't go as planned.
This post was written by the writers of the Datepad.com internet dating company where you can read thousands of professional dating posts. You can get a unique content version of this article from the Uber Article Directory.
