Myth Busting Can Help Save Marriage
Myth Busting Can Help Save Marriage
Why is it that the rate of divorce has been increasing over several decades? Our grandparent's generation tended to marry for life, and they somehow managed to make it work. Perhaps this is because they had different expectations. Maybe we can help save marriage by taking a more practical and less romantic approach.
Romantic Fiction: We will live happily ever after. Real life continually throws up problems for married couples. Your spouse, no matter how well intentioned, will not be able to wave a magic wand and make everything better. You will have to take joint responsibility in dealing with difficulties.
Myth: I can change my spouse. Your partner had many years to form personality traits before they met you. They may have habits that get on your nerves, but you wouldn't have married them if they didn't also have qualities you admire. You have to learn to live with the whole package.
Don't confuse being in love with loving someone. The intense and crazy romantic infatuation and sexual desire we feel for someone when we first fall in love doesn't last forever. If it did, we'd never be able to focus on anything else. Married love evolves into a caring, trusting, intimacy and feeling of togetherness.
Myth: My partner and I totally understand each other. No two people can ever see out of the same pair of eyes. We all have different inborn personalities as well as different experiences that give us a unique outlook on the world. You can't expect your partner to intuitively know how you feel about something.
Romantic Fiction: We will never argue because we think alike. You and your mate were probably attracted to each other because you share a lot of opinions on things that interest you both. But you can't predict the joint decisions that you are going to be faced with in the future. Unless you are clones, there are going to be disagreements. You will have to learn to negotiate solutions you both can agree to.
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Filed under Marriage Issues by on Jul 2nd, 2010. 
