No One Profits Because Cheaters Never Prosper
It happens so much that many people act as if it is inevitable. They see affairs glamorized and excused on television shows. They even call this sleazy emotional backstabbing an affair. They make it sound like a formal ball or major event.
Intimacy may come to a dead halt and be blamed on how tired they are from those early, late, and weekend hours they have putting in lately. Were you told the digital sport watch was a store promotion and the alvarez acoustic guitar is for the music class he signed up for without you? Clues are a fact of cheating.
You may notice that your combined cell phone usage is rising and your bill may note several text messages. When you check her phone there is no record because she erased the messages. There may be a sudden increase in overtime required at work. When you ask about the Nintendo bundle and other items appearing on your charge card there is a ready explanation.
Confronting them with questions and no proof will expose you to more humiliation. She can call you on her cell phone and tell you she loves you while she is on her way to share herself with her lover. Make no mistake about it; the cheating spouse will not hesitate to belittle your concerns.
Eventually she will be caught and then you have to decide what you will do. Oddly enough lots of couples can survive this physical graffiti being applied to their wedding vows. The cheating may help identify unmet needs in your relationship. She will have to be honest with you about whether this affair was purely physical or was she in love.
You will not care if she cheated because she fell in love or fell for his ripped abdomen. Every detail will be emotionally unbearable. To remain a couple will require an immediate end to the sexual relationship along with notification in writing from her to her partner. There must never be any contact again even if it means quitting a job or moving away.
Enforce her ending the deceitful relationship and being accountable. Go ahead and see a therapist together or separately. The ground rules must include her answering all of your questions. It is doubtful anything she has to say can be more painful than the images in your head already. Be watchful over the next several months when she will have withdrawal symptoms from not being with her lover.
The painful images may take years to go away. It will be difficult to know that while you took care of the kids and the house she was taking care of another man in graphic physical ways. It will take a trained professional and lots of time to see if your relationship will survive. It may be worth it to repair and heal these wounds especially if you have a family together.
Filed under Avoid Divorce, marriage problems by on Apr 15th, 2010. 
