Parenting And Restraining Orders
The bedrock of any society is the family unit – a man and a woman joined together. The family is designed to love, provide and nurture its children. In a traditional family the mom dedicates her time and energy to care for the kids. Children learn valuable lessons from their mother watching her take care of them; while the father is there to provide support, guidance and discipline.
It has often been said, “A mother can bring you into this life but only a father can tell you who you are.†The point here is that only the father can provide the direction and guidance that a child needs. There is nothing as powerful as encouraging words from a dad to help mold a child's life. Children tend to look at life through two distinct lenses: the mother who is there to take care of them while the father is out in the real world doing “real things.†It is the fathers’ world that children find fascinating and ominous. This is why encouragement from a father has an impact.
But when separation or divorce takes place between the parents, it is the children that suffer. When dad isn't around, the mother's authority can be compromised. Children typically listen to their fathers more so than their mothers. On the other hand, women tend to show men how to care for small children. Single dads, without the assistance of moms, can be inept and clumsy when handling small kids and may return the child to the mom with cuts, colds, a diaper rashes. And because of this, men might be placed under the suspicious eyes of the law for neglecting his children.
Fathering outside of the marriage brings entirely new issues with the former wife’s many times feeling uneasy about their former spouse washing and bathing their children. The dads now have to be cautious about how much affection their show their kids lest another party takes a critical opinion of the man's closeness with small kids. It is of little wonder that an affectionate father outside of marriage can become legally perilous.
But restraining orders take on a much more vicious nature when they happen to a father, as the father has to abide by the letter of the law lest he end up in jail. Restraining orders rip the father out of the life of the child and in some ways in a permanent and irreparable way. It is hard enough to be a parent, harder enough to be a single parent but even more so as a father with a restraining order around his neck.
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