Relationship Killers
Relationships can be built or wrecked by the same principles. Your partner can quickly diminish in your eyes from superwoman/superman to scoundrel. Some wisdom is essential for any relationship to endure, especially where emotions are involved, so if you are short in this department then be in no doubt that an expiration date is on the horizon. Barriers and meanders are normal issues of any relationship but if the following are everyday realities then brace yourself for marriage issues. These relationship killers encompass :
1. Constant putdowns. There is a shadowy line between criticism and downright disapproval and one day, if you continue to disparage the one you’re with, they will take only so much negativity before they bolt and your relationship will come to an immature end. Negative comments can stretch from how they drive to how they pull on their hair and the quicker you acknowledge that your partner has good and bad points, the more down to earth your attitude will be and you will be more open to compromise. Your standards of perfection may be out of reach for all mortals and the same is true for your partner. Whining and nitpicking as well as trivialmindedness can only be tolerated in anyone’s psyche for so long.
2. Scorn. This is a undisputable marrige issue. All couples argue and ugly words can be traded in the heat of the moment but digging up earlier imperfections of your partner, especially those that they thought were in the past, will undeniably result in the failure of your relationship. Weighing them unflatteringly to others, say like your pleasant neighbour will also not go down well and can also be really hurtful. Constantly being scornful whenever you talk is also not doing your relationship any good as is relentlessly accusing the other person of the pettiest of things. Scorn dished out repeatedly will only make your partner hateful and vengeful and soon there will be a competition between you about who can be more spiteful to the other. Selfish behaviour where you’re selfish and only think about yourself is another ingredient that will lead to the disintegration of your relationship.
3. Communication. This is a fundamental marrige issue. Do you tune out your partner when they are talking? It’s only natural that the beginning of the relationship is characterized by both of you hanging on to each other’s words. But when everyday stresses prevent you from really communicating with the other person then be sure that your relationship will not last for long. We all need to feel nurtured, indispensable and pleasing so when did you last tell the other person that you adored them? Spent a significant amount of time with them – devoid of computer, book, friends or crowded rooms between you? When were you last so appreciative of your spouse that you bought them a gift?
Communication can also be non verbal. By not expressing your appreciation of the other person by let’s say helping out with the chores, a tangible division will come to exist between you and will get wider over time. In a little while, you can hardly exchange two words without moving into condemnation and disrespect method. As much as silence is golden, too much of it is not healthy for to your relationship. Prolonged silence leaves the other person second-guessing everything you do resulting in caginess and misgivings.
4. Trust. If there is no trusting dependence between you and your partner then there’s certainly no relationship. Lack of trusting dependence can be triggered by something as subtle as breaking a series of promises to the extent of two timing them. Uncertainities involving finance and how it is managed also plays a role in the collapse of a relationship and has in fact been cited as a leading cause of it. Dishonesty that merges into defensiveness also lead to frustration and the eventual collapse of your relationship.
If there is evidence of just a few of these marriage issues in your relationship then you must rouse yourself from your complacency and realize that all is not well in your relationship and that if you don’t do something to stem the tide, you may wake up one day and find that your partner has left you.
