Save Your Relationship With Just 7 Steps
Jim works long hours and Lisbet doesn’t feel he is there for her. Lisbet spends all of her time meeting the children’s needs and Jim feels that she doesn’t have time for his needs? Can this relationship be saved? Should it be saved? Here’s how to save a relationship.
Before we go on, I would like to share a couple extra valuable resources with you. To begin with, learn how to get your ex to want you back. This way, it is much easier to make your boyfriend want you back. Also, here is some great "get back with my boyfriend, suggestions. Here, you can also find out how to react when your boyfriend does not return your IMs. This is key because your expected response would be to send loads of emails or call. This will only drive him away. Finally, learn how to get your ex to come back with these extra resources. You will find dozens of informative articles and ex-back book recommendations. Now, let's return to our main subject.
First, you must decide whether the relationship is worth saving. While almost every relationship can be saved with hard work, both parties must decide that they want to make it work. Because if a partner has opted out and doesn’t want to opt back in, there is little that can be done.
If there is any violence involved, get out now. On the other hand, if there is no violence, then it does not really matter what the other issues are, this relationship is worth saving. Especially since there are kids involved. Do not be selfish and leave a relationship with kids just because you are not "fulfilled". It is not about you anymore. It is about the kids.
The next step is to find the problem. It is not always what you think it is. We are often distracted by symptoms.
I have a special exercise called the "5 Whys" to help you find the real problem. Answer this? What is the main problem in your relationship? Or, why did you break up or separate? Call this "A". Now, "A" is likely not the main problem, believe it or not. Now ask this: What was the cause of "A" happening? Call this "B". Again, "B" is not the same problem. Keep going until you can not go any further. This, "E", "F" or "G", is likely the REAL problem. "A" thru "D" were just symptoms distracting the truth.
When you start to deal with core issues rather than symptoms, you can save the relationship.
Once you have identified the core problems, you can begin to share your thoughts. This means both verbalizing your own feelings and listening to your partner’s concerns. Hold your partner’s had when you are talking about your problems as a signal that you want to reconnect even when your emotions are swirling. When your partner talks about things that hurt you remember that he or she is not doing it because he or she wants to hurt you. Rather it is because they want to improve the relationship.
Once you have detailed the problems in your relationship, create an action plan to solve them. Then, take concrete steps on your action plan. If you don’t spend time together like you used to, plan a date night every week. Take turns coming up with creative ways to spend an evening together each Wednesday. If not communicating is the problem, commit to spending 20 minutes before going to bed just talking to one another. And, then do it.
Do not fool yourself into thinking that there will be an end to this process of solving problems. Plan on this going on for the rest of your lives. Successful relationships are always going through the process of identifying problems and then solving them. The cycle will likely never end.
I wish you the best of luck as you save your relationship.
