Saving My Marriage
So my fairy story hit a bump and the forever-after began to look like a pipe dream and I felt confused. Something seemed to have changed in my marriage and I felt uneasy….you know that intuition you have that something is not quite right but you cannot put your finger on what is wrong….you wonder whether it is a figment of your imagination but the inkling doesn’t go away. In trying to help save my marriage I followed these steps.
1. I conceded that there was a problem. My efforts to help save my marriage required me to be truthful with myself and to look into if my feelings really were based on fact or on simple suspicion. I discovered that pretending that all was well did not work as my misgivings grew with each passing day. For the sake of my own sanity I finally had to confront the problem directly.
2. I looked for changes in him. My efforts to help save my marriage demanded that I take a closer look at my man and his lifestyle to see if there were any subtle changes. I looked at his whole demeanor including his appearance, conduct and disposition; and how he related with me. His look and smell was unchanged, he still had the same clothes sense and he kept using his old cologne. His conduct was still the same as he was the same kind man that I knew. But his disposition had been altered and he looked happier then normal. In addition how he related with me had been upped and this was demonstrated through unexpected gifts that he bought me but our emotional connection was lacking.
3. I unearthed the changes. Realizing that what I had observed could be due to other reasons related to his work, friends etc. So in saving my marriage I arranged to accidentally meet and casually chat to his work mates and his pals and scrutinized their attitude toward me keenly to see if it had changed somewhat. And I noticed out of character behavior. A few of his close work mates seemed to want to keep away from me… nothing overt, again just a feeling that there was something wrong. So I decided to up the game and pay him a visit at his office to see how his other associates would react to me. At this point I wondered at the wisdom of my actions but I needed to know. As I chatted with him I noticed his workmates looking at me in a peculiar way (or were they feeling sorry for me); that just made me feel awkward.
4. I faced him. Yes I realize that I didn’t have a water tight case but in my efforts to help save my marriage I realized that the suspense was killing me. So I gritted my teeth and persisted in treating him well and patiently held my fire waiting for the day when he was in a agreeably good mood and just sat with him and encouraged him to talk to me. I did not pester him; I just kept listening to him without saying much; I listened to him for a number of days….and it eventually came out….he was having an affair with a new girl in the office. According to him she meant nothing to him….you must have heard the story….she came on to me etc….. I am resisting the almost unbearable desire to bash him to death for his unbelievable idiocy.
What should I do next in my efforts to help save my marriage? Can I continue in relationship with a man with the aptitude for such folly? Is this marriage worth saving???
