Staying Together: Working Through The Little Stuff
Many couples start having problems after the “honeymoon period” starts to wear off. That’s totally natural and shouldn’t be cause for any big fights or thoughts like, “Can I save my relationship?” Even so, it CAN take its toll on a relationship if you’re not careful. A lot of times, couples argue about pretty minor things in their relationship. The majority of fights between people in a romantic relationship are about one of two things: 1. Money, or 2. Whom loves who more.
We have all heard the complaints from our friends and loved ones, and we’ve probably made a few of them ourselves. They’re usually just little, “Gosh my partner makes me SO mad sometimes,” types of things. For a lot of couples, those big, relationship-ending arguments are just an accumulation of all the little stuff. Eventually one or both people just… EXPLODE! And unfortunately, by that point, it may be too late.
Learning to get through the little every day dramas and annoyances can help you and your partner stay together longer and be happier while you ARE together.
The most important thing to remember is that these little things, are just that… LITTLE. And if they ARE just little things, getting over them can help prolong your relationship. If you or your partner just can’t seem to get past this little things, one of the best things you can do for yourselves is to TALK THINGS OUT.
• Setting up a “touch base” once a week, (or once a month if once a week seems like too often). Some basic rules may be needed in order to try to prevent hurt feelings. Try something like, “Speak from your heart, not from your anger, and remember that I love you.” Then just… VENT to one another. Getting all the little things out in the open can help air them out.
• When discussing the “little things” with your partner, be sure to focus on the behavior that bothers you and NOT the person or you may end up hurting your partner’s feelings. Try saying things like, “When you do _____, it makes me feel ____,” and not, “You are so ____!”
• After you have vented your frustrations, be sure to give your partner ample time to vent theirs as well. When you have both finished voicing your annoyances, you may want to remind one another about how much you love each other. And how committed you are to making your relationship work.
This discussion doesn’t have to have a “resolution” or anything. Just talking things out should be enough to get you back on track to a happy, healthy relationship. For more great relationship tips, check out The Magic of Making Up eBook Download.
