Talking To Your Children About Divorce: What And What Not To Say
Divorce is not a fun topic of discussion between adults, let alone how difficult it is for the kids. Kids have quite an imagination so you have to be sure to explain what is going on. Many kids are scared emotionally by divorce and it is often because the communication levels were not good enough between the parents and the kids.
Keep in mind the age and personality of your children when you prepare for any discussion. Odds are that a two-year-old is simply too young to comprehend a long, drawn-out discussion about your relationship, so it’s best not to try and communicate on that level.
Simply explain to younger children that Mommy or Daddy won’t be living with them anymore, but will be moving to a new home. Be sure to tell the children that the parent leaving truly loves and want them but they will have to stay in home with the other parent who has custody.
As kids get older, they can more easily understand what love is and what it feels like. If they are constantly watching you and your spouse argue or get into fights then the atmosphere is not good and they will appreciate a break in the insanity. Honesty is always the best policy if you believe your children are mature enough to understand what divorce is and what it may mean to them.
Let them know that the parents will not be able to continue to live together because the relationship between them has changed. While you shouldn't sugar coat the process, you should also be very careful not to slander your spouse in front of the kids, no matter how old they are.
Since your children love both parents, they will surely come to regret the parent who trashes the other in front of them. Even if your, soon to be ex, was really a terrible person and did some horrific things, the kids do not need to hear of it. You do not want to be responsible for turning a son or daughter against their parent. They’ll only end up resenting you in the end.
If you have to explain a divorce to your children, trust in their love and talk to them honestly in an age-appropriate manner.
If you want more information, you can learn more about my experience as an Austin Texas family law lawyer. You should also watch the Austin Texas Divorce Guide Audio CD at TruslerLegal.com. If you need more specific information, you can take a look at our FAQ's about divorce in Austin TX.
