Three Ways To Get Back With My Ex
When you’re boyfriend or girlfriend leaves, it’s a sad day in your life. I'm sure most of us have experienced it before. It leaves you sitting at home all alone with your head in your hands going, “I wish I knew how to get my ex back”.
If you really want it, I'll warn you first: it mightl be a long and hard process. Yet, it is not an impossible thing to do. So buck up, mope and get it out of your system, and let’s start focusing on getting them back.
Step 1 – Acknowledge Total Loss
This is a big step that some people never take. You know, the guy in the bar who still dreams about his ex girlfriend from a decade ago, or the girl that can never get over her ex-sweetie. These people are still in the denial phase and it can last a lifetime.
First, admit “total” loss. They're gone, and that’s that. Even though you’re going to win them back, it’s important to first understand and feel that it’s fully over. As soon as you’re there, you can effectively start getting them back. I suggest this step to both women and men who want their ex back, see my advices for men at how to get back your girl.
It’s a crucial step since you don’t want to appear needy. If you go to your ex begging, sobbing, pleading, kneeling and making a sorry fool of yourself, it’s not going to work. It is a big mistake lots of people make. You don’t want to be desperate or phony. To put it differently, don’t start buying roses or gifts and laying it on too thick. This is another big no-no.
Both begging and present-buying tell your ex that you have not acknowledged the way things are. You are still living in a dream where the two of you are together, and it is time for you to wake up.
Step 2 – Write Your Thoughts In A Letter
I've discovered this to be really effecting in getting an ex back. It’s the “opening move” as I call it. What it does is show your ex that you have acknowledged the reality of the situation and that you’re sincere. It requires writing a letter.
Once you break up, you really want to communicate with your ex. Anyone that’s been there knows why. Anything will do just to establish communication. You text message them, email them, call them late at night, “drunk dial” them… and all of this drives them even further away since it’s not genuine.
Here’s what you do: Handwrite a letter telling your ex that you have accepted that it’s over. You realize now and you’re okay with it. That’s basically all you need to say. It’s simple and non-threatening. After you break up with someone, you need space, and this sincere message from you gives them just that.
Step 3 – Exactly What Went Wrong?
The next phase is to find the cause things went bad. You have to be completely honest with yourself. This is a hard thing for most of us to do. It often means acknowledging blame, which isn’t easy. But, there’s got to be several reasons he or she left, and you’ve got to figure it out. This is a crucial step and you should do this not only when you try to get back together, but also when you've got issue in the relationship, more about this on saving a relationship.
What are the major causes? They require space, there’s no romance or spark anymore, it’s gotten boring, there’s someone else, and big life changes are the main reasons people split up. The truly tricky part is that the reasons your ex gives may not be the real ones. They might even be deceiving themselves!
This part might take a while, but you'll figure it out eventually. Remember that as long as you don't know what went wrong, you'll never be able to start over and maintain healthy long term relationship.
If you still think "I don't know how to get back my ex", pull yourself together and start to put some efforts into it. You'll want to begin RIGHT NOW, not a second later. Every second that you waste means that you might miss the door of opportunity that still open for you. For further guidance, check out my Pull Your Ex Back Ryan Hall review to see how Ryan can guide you to get your ex to want you back.
