Want To Be A Terrible Boyfriend? Here's How
Ya know, having really good, understanding, caring, giving, selfless, supportive boyfriends is deeply overrated. Do you know what we ladies need more of in our lives? Really terrible boyfriends.
Do you think life is just too sickly sweet and that what women need is someone who'll suck the will to live right out of them? Well, for all you do-gooders out there, here's a list to help you speed that process along;
Self-Esteem Sucker
A sure fire way to be a horrible boyfriend is to tear your gal pal's confidence to pieces. If you want to take it to the next level, build up your own self image at the same time you're destroying hers.
There's no one way to execute this great bad boyfriend routine. But here are a couple of suggestions. Tell her that her friend would look much better in that dress than she does, and your relationship with your mother is flawless while hers leaves much to be desired. You get the idea.
Drama King
Try this little treat on for size: make a huge deal out of positively everything. And be really self-centered about it. For example, whenever she calls, pick that time to immediately dive into your oh-so-intriguing story about your stressful day of stubbing you toe and not making it to the cleaners before they closed.
Naturally this will take up a good deal of time. You'll have no time to listen to her no matter the reason she called. She's your girlfriend and she's supposed to understand that you have a life and are incredibly busy and have things to do. Dial tone.
Give Plenty of Unsolicited Advice
Oh that poor woman, where would she be without you? Honest to goodness, her career, relationships and family life would be a shambles if it weren't for your daily dose of advice. Her wardrobe/vacation destination/restaurant meal would be a mess without your help. As her boyfriend it's your duty to point out the error of her ways. If you didn't, how would she ever learn? And that condescending tone in your voice is the perfect accompaniment.
Party Hearty
Who wants to stay home for a cozy night in? Certainly not you! That's for wimps. Real men party every night and it's your job to bring out the "party" in your girlfriend To heck with her early morning meeting or the fact that she's dieting to get into that dress (see Self Esteem). Your job is to make her understand that partying is the order of the day. And on the off chance that she says no (gasp!) don't forget to make her feel awful about not supporting you.
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