Want Your Ex Back? Avoid These Three Traps
In the early aftermath of a breakup, you always have options for doing things to get your ex back, just as there are certain things you must avoid to keep from permanently damaging your relationship. Many times it's the things we think would be helpful that are exactly what we should stay away from, but at such an emotional time it's difficult to think clearly about what to do next.
With that in mind, let's go over three things to make sure you do not do.
1. Don't cling to your ex and your memories of being together. If you attempt to hang around your ex just after a break-up and not give them time and space on their own to access things, you will be doing a lot of damage. Clingy, emotional demands can be draining on anyone, and in the case of your ex this sort of behavior may reinforce why it was a good idea to split up with you in the first place. It is vital that you give them space to heal. Plus, it will be beneficial to you as well, because you will be able to develop an effective plan to win your ex back.This is not how to get your ex back.
2. Don't talk about all the personal changes you plan to make. No matter what lead to the break-up, do not promise your ex that you will change. First of all, it is a very hollow promise. Second of all, no one can change in just a few hours. When you make a promise to change, you are making a promise like a child makes by saying, "I won't do it again." Yes, you may not intend to be the same person, but if you do not make attempts to actually change, you will quickly find yourself back in the same situation you are in. Plus, it does not mean much to many people when you say you will change. You really have to tell your ex that they are right about the split, and then go away. You may very well do some changing then, but change needs to be demonstrated and this can be done later.
3. Flowers are a bad idea. If you are asking "how to get my ex back?" think how this will look. Despite what any florists advertisements might hint at do not send flowers. You do not want to send any kind of "make-up" gifts right away. Flowers are appropriate as an apology when you forget an anniversary, but they just look desperate after a breakup and this approach should be avoided. Lay off on the gifts, maybe send a simple note with a very simple plain apology and leave it at that for now.
It may be hard to accept the advise stated here, but if you follow it, you may see it is the difference between getting your ex back and pushing him/her away forever. I advise you to trust the advise here, as it is proven, and simply stay away for a while. Once you have done this in a few days you will see that you can think more clearly and will be in a much better position to win your ex back to stay.
If you are still in the very early stages of a break-up, do give up hope. Even if you look at the relationship or realize you have really messed things up, you can still have a chance to win your ex back. You can learn how to win back your ex.
You need to determine how important they are to you. If you truly love your ex or have strong feelings for them, then you will want to get your head back on your shoulders and work on you plan for winning your ex back.
Filed under Avoid Divorce, Marriage Issues, Relationship Problems, marriage problems by on Jun 25th, 2010.