What are the Most Important Elements of a Rock-Solid Relationship?
When men and women come together to form a relationship, it's beautiful but complicated. No two relationships are identical, and thus they cannot be treated as if they are: everyone is unique, taking different approaches to the same set of circumstances. Making relationships work requires as much intuition as knowledge of all the pronouncements by self-proclaimed experts in the field.
There's something between two individuals that draws them together and inspires them to form a relationship, but to suggest that a unversal rule or guideline exists explaining that is naive. Because relationships are unique, the agreements that couples develop that keep them together are also unique.
While there are no universal regulations for the conduct of a relationship, there are deeper elements of a relationship that can be identified. Without these factors, it's doubtful that the relationship will last.
The first of these is communication. Don't misconstrue communication to mean the sometimes insignificant chatter all couples engage in. Communication is the transfer of real ideas from one individual to another, and in the context of a relationship, that means sharing aspirations, dreams, and fears. Without this, each person in a relationship doesn't really know the other. The kind of communication that takes place every day, of course, is different – couples have to be able to discuss everyday matters, plan the dinner menu, review schedules to make certain they can reach each other. But they'll also discuss the issues they're facing on the job, they'll talk about problems within their relationship, and they'll share their own feelings.
Sharing their emotions with each other is another important aspect of good communications. Good communication requires that couples share with each other their hurts and failure, their sorrow and disgrace, as well as their victories. Good communication requires the next foundationfactor of a great relationship.
The second great component of good relationships is honesty. From the point a couple becomes a couple, perhaps living together but unquestionably sharing their lives, they must be able to trust each other, and that trust can only come in an environment of honesty. Once the bloom is off the rose, if a couple really loves each other and wants to be together, it's important to acknowledge their humanity and fallibility and accept it.
Lies – even the most well-meaning "little white lies," designed to avoid hurting someone – usually are discovered at the most inopportune times, and their motivation is often misunderstood. A relationship in which lies have been revealed faces significant obstacles. Partners in a relationship who are reluctant to share the truth with the other, even if it means at least momentarily hurting their feelings, are well advised to examine their own committment to the relationship.
The final foundation of good relationships is forgiveness, which comes from true love. We learn from birth that none of us is perfect – to err, they say, is human, and to forgive, divine. Forgiveness may require that the "sinner" repent, but it definitely requires that the "sinned-against" partner absolve the sinner of guilt and then never raise the issue again. Forgiveness must be complete, for if it isn't, the element of honesty will also be damaged. Paradoxically, it is through forgiveness that a couple can understand the depth of their love for each other.
These three components – communication, trust and forgiveness – form the basis of a long and happy relationship. Far more relationships are dissolved than survive, and the cause of that dissolution is often the lack of one or more of these crucial elements. Couples who want to remain couples and realize that their relationship is missing one of these components, like a stool with fewer than three legs, had better start work immediately to start growing the foundation of communication, trust and forgiveness that characterizes the greatest relationships of all time.
If you found this article helpful and would like to learn more ways you can save your relationship, check out Tips for Saving a Relationship, How to Make a Relationship Work, and Ex Recovery System Review.
