What Can They Do To Save This Marriage?
What Can They Do To Save This Marriage?
Sometimes people start thinking their marriage was a mistake from the beginning. They might be asking if anything can save their marriage but maybe they would do better to consider if anything should be done to save this marriage?
The idea of saving often implies saving from something. What does this marriage need to be saved from? Are other men or women intruding and creating strife? Is the marriage starving for lack of emotional or financial investment? Are the partners bored and looking for novelty outside the marriage instead of bringing excitement in?
What people usually mean when they talk about saving a marriage is keeping it from ending in divorce. But why don't they want it to end? Are they keeping their marriage alive or are they just creating a lingering death?
What do couples want to save their marriage for? Do they want their marriage to create a home and safe haven for children and pets and visiting relatives? Do they want it to provide a model of domestic bliss their friends will envy? Do they want to have someone they can always be themselves with, even if their real self is a jerk? It's a good idea for couples to know and agree on what they think their marriage can accomplish.
A marriage might be one that is worth saving when two people realize that each contributes something to the relationship that adds to the quality of both of their lives.
Partners in a marriage should feel confident that they can make plans for the future. Knowing that their partner is committed to the relationship allows the flexibility to alter plans as circumstances change.
When people can see that they have grown and in some way become better than they were before they were married they might have a marriage that is worth putting some effort into saving.
The murder mystery genre is replete with people married or being married for the fortunes they expect to inherit or have already received. Marrying someone, no matter how wealthy, without consideration to other factors such as personality, temperament, and ambitions is never a good idea. It's such a bad idea, in fact, that these marriages become the inspiration for murder mysteries.
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