What To Do When Your Ex Has Ended It

Problems With Significant Other? Broken Heart? Save Your Relationship Now - Even If You Think It is Too Late!

We all go through an emotional roller coaster when it looks like we've lost the of our life. If your ex has just told you want to end it, it's normal to feel upset, angry and even somewhat confused.

So what can you do?  It really depends on whether you want this person or not.  If you decide let things end, allow yourself to grieve for the relationship and then look forward to having fun being single.  Don't waste time trying to extract revenge on this person as you will be a lesser person if you do.

But you decide this relationship really is in everyone's best interest and perhaps feel something you did contributed to the break up, it very often is possible to reconcile.

Your first one is to let him know how you feel. If it's needed, send him or her a note ( a hand written note will get more attention than the e-mail that might get deleted before it's even opened) apologising for any bad behaviour and reminding them of the good times you shared together.  You can tell them that the relationship meant a lot to you, but don't come across as  begging to get back together.

If for some reason you're not comfortable writing a note you may want to check out look at the page How to Get Your Ex to Return Your Calls for advice on the best way to initiate phone contact after a breakup.

It's very likely that you will get a positive response to your letter or call. The next step is to make arrangements to meet. Set it up for a fairly public place such as a coffee shop or a museum. This will help prevent your discussions turning into a huge argument. You should be ready to explain how you feel in a calm and levelheaded manner.

Keep the conversation fairly light. If you find yourself talking about your feelings or your reactions, use the word I and not you. For example, you should say "When you danced with that other woman at the party, I felt very jealous" instead of "You always make me feel jealous". It's much easier to listen to somebody explained how they feel and then to listen to them blaming you for something. And the fact is that you alone are responsible for your feelings

If they criticize you, listen calmly and (as difficult as it may be) try not to become defensive.  Listen with an open mind.  A breakup is rarely all one person's fault and is very likely that you share some of the responsibility for the difficult your relationship is that.

You need to listen very attentively together person. Too often in conversations, one person is trying to think of their response before the other person has even finished speaking. They aren't really listening. Encourage them to say what is on their mind. Think of this as an opportunity for you both to work through any issues in your relationship and come out of this a stronger couple.

Keep in mind that you're not the first couple that's gone through a separation. It strikes me as rather odd that people try to handle something as dramatic as a breakup muddling  through on their own, or perhaps talking with friends who don't have any more experience than they do, instead of getting reliable advice. I've found a couple of very effective relationship programs you should definitely consider consulting.

One very effective system is called the Magic of Making Up. It teaches you a step-by-step approach to rebuilding a relationship after breakup. You can read an in-depth review of this program at Magic of Making up Review.

Another relationship repair method that I found to be very good is Second Chance Romance. Some people don't approve of this program because it includes instructions on how to apply powerful psychological triggers that could be manipulative if applied with ill intent. I don't think most people would use it that way. You can find a review of this program at Second Chance Romance Review

Follow the advice in whichever those programs appeals to you, you may actually be thankful for the day you found out that your ex has just broken up with you.