You Don't Have To Be A Disneyland Dad
Most people remember those commercials after the Super Bowl or other major sporting events where the MVP would asked, “You’ve won the Super Bowl, now what are you going to do?" The answer was always, "I'm going to Disneyland.â€
Why was this the answer? Simply because it's considered the ultimate playground regardless of age. Unfortunately this sometimes translates into skewered actions in real life, including on behalf of the non-custodial parent in divorce cases.
This is not to imply the non-custodial parent takes the kids on lavish vacations or trips. On the contrary, due to the limited time most non-custodial parents have it is almost impossible to actually take long trips and adventures. In fact, these parents are known as 14 percenter parents, a term used in divorce circles to describe the non-custodial parent with standard every other weekend visitation for child custody, which amounts for the most part to a mere 14 percent. The majority of parents find their time is limited and thus very important so the most should be made of it.
When in this situation, it is not uncommon for parents to treat their visitation as the ultimate vacation. In other words, the parent tries their best to outdo the last visitation by bouncing from activity to activity while consuming junk food, and candy. Sadly these actions set up unrealistic expectations for future visits with the parent. Of course, this also doesn’t sit so well with the other parent. Once the visit is over the kids return to the other parent spastic from sugar consumption and excited about the great fun they had with the non-custodial parent.
Instinctively there is an ongoing struggle between right and wrong. Most moms and dads who embrace Disneyland Dad actions do not believe it is the wrong thing to do. And maybe it’s not. However, does this make things more difficult for the children, other parent, and non-custodial parent. It can even harm the relationship between the Disneyland dad and his children by skewing discipline and boundaries.
There is nothing wrong with occasionally spoiling your children with treats, but wholesome family activities such as visits to a bookstore, a school event, or even just a walk through park are grossly underappreciated. It’s never too late to establish a post-divorce routine with your children and institute boundaries that will help your relationship grow despite the fact you only have minimal time with your children.
