Your Man; What You Should And Should Not Do For Him
There are some women who, I've recently observed, will do anything for their dude. Laundry, foot massages, taking messages, picking up wedding presents for his friends; hey sister, are you his girlfriend or his secretary?
Sure, playing to each other's strengths and weaknesses to compensate for each other's lack thereof is simply a smart couple thing to do. My boyfriend just happens to be horrible at remembering birthdays whereas I keep a calendar that the President would envy. That doesn't make me his doormat, it makes us efficient.
So, all of this got me thinking about the line between being a good, supportive, awesome ladyfriend and being, essentially, someone's doormat. Or, on the other hand, making him your doormat. And thus, a brief list of a few areas where you should be careful to toe the line:
Do: Take his side Don't: Fight his battles for him
It's one thing to literally stand by your man when, say, you're at a (his) family function and he suddenly gets into it with his mom about whether or not his chosen career path is a waste of his time leading to ultimate failure and misery. Hell, even if you agree with her, in this instance, have your dude's back
I know you want his family and his mother in particular, to like you. But you need to remember that you're on his team. That's why you're there. If he wants your opinion on the matter you can tell him later, in private. In the face of opposition however, solidarity is called for.
Having said that, don't fight his battles for him. Resist the urge to jump in there like you're his representative or something. While you might think you're doing him a favor, in reality you're going from supportive to emasculating.
Do: Trust him Don't: Be an idiot about it
It's easier to be the jealous girl than it is to be the trusting girl. That's my feeling. Being jealous means getting to have a nice, heaping daily indulgence in our insecurities; but at what cost? Always trying to catch your man sneaking around doing goodness knows what with goodness only knows who is not only a super awesome way to drive yourself crazy, it's also almost guaranteed to be the downfall of your relationship.
Unless the guy is a complete jerk, you're going to be wrong about your suspicions, pretty much always. And all that time you were sneaking, snooping, gossiping and worrying, what you weren't doing was enjoying and furthering your relationship.
You'll be far better of focusing on making the time you spend together stimulating and amazing. Give him reasons to stay, not stray. And when he's out of your sight, assume that he's innocent until proven guilty. If you stay relaxed and positive you'll be able to spot his lies a mile away. Then you can break out the Sherlock Holmes hat. Until that time comes, be brave, be trusting.
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